My wife has zero sense of humor. Back in the dark ages before there was a local Wal-Mart, we did much of our shopping at K-Mart. Once when one of our kids had a bad sprain, I drove Carolyn to the store so she could find a hand-held massage unit for him. She had never used one before and was a little confused as to what to buy, so she asked me what she was supposed to get. I tried to explain just what it was she needed, and she finally said she would ask for "one of those vibrating things". I was becoming impatient and said "Yes, just ask for a vibrator and they will know what you are talking about." She went into K-Mart and in about 15 minutes she returned to where I was parked. I noticed she was not toting a shopping bag, but she did look like she was carrying vengeance in her heart. I also saw that she wasn't going around to the passenger side to get into the truck, but her eye was evil and set directly on me. I had sense enough to lock the door and roll down the window just a bit to be able to talk through it. After trying unsuccessfully to get to me, she calmed enough to put her mouth in high gear. When she is riled, my precious is one of the premier world experts at using four-letter words to get her point across. Seems like she went in and asked a male clerk where they kept their vibrators and he offered to take her to the stockroom and show her. That's when it hit her that she was supposed to be asking for a massaging machine and exactly what it was that she had asked for. All this was blamed on innocent me. It is one of those times that when we are talking about the good old days, I do not mention. I hope she has forgotten it, but I feel that some day and some way I am going to pay for my impatient mistake.
----
I am overcome with such an enormous empty feeling on Christmas Day each year. All (most) of the online retailers have stopped their daily cramming my email inbox full of "last minute gift ideas for under $100" ads. I have a special email account set up for this kind of stuff, but some always finds their way to my other addresses where I have most of them diverted directly to the spam folder. Tomorrow I will again catch capitalistic hell.
----
Father Christmas in the photo was painted by my friend Steve just before he suffered a stroke and was forced to give up creating his art. He died a few years later.
4 comments:
Ken, I do not understand why Carolyn was so riled. I didn't try to buy the vibrator ( and I haven't such plans), nevertheless people have different needs and there are different products for them, also the vibrators.
It was rather funny mistake. Nice story. I smile.:-)
Hi Jola,
I think the surprising moment of realization is what got her. She was embarrassed in front of several people.
I don't need vibrators either; my closet full of blow-up sex dolls get along fine without them. ;-)
Have a nice weekend, dear friend. :-)
That is a great story. I bet she would think it is funny now.
Hopefully you can enjoy Christmas next year. Just ignore the retail aspect of the whole mess.
Nice work by Steve.
I doubt Carolyn will think it funny, especially since I sent her to a auto-center to have one of the vans lubed and oil changed. I told her to make sure they checked the rear-end. She went in and told them to check her rear-end. I seem to stay in her dog house.
Post a Comment