Loose Laces

One time on an out of town job, we were sitting down to eat our lunches. It was right after Thanksgiving, and the local boys were packing pumpkin pie and other leftovers from the feasting. The guy I was working with had a piece of said pie in his lunchbox, and informed me that he was going tp play a trick on the rest of the guys we ate with. There was usually a dozen or more construction workers from various trades in the group, and his scheme promised to be good for a laugh.

Before going to our usual eating area, my buddy carefully placed some of the pie on the edge of his boot sole, making it look like he had stepped in shit. He coached me on what to say to get things started, and then we joined the others. Just after we began eating, he casually crossed the doctored foot across his knee and went on eating. That was my cue. I told him it looked like he had stepped in shit, and he looked to where I was pointing on his boot. He exclaimed that he probably had done so, because half the crew was too lazy to go to the shitter. The other guys were obviously getting uneasy about having to look at poop while they were eating. My buddy then said it probably wasn't what they thought it was, and to go on eating. One of the others asked him why didn't he go outside and scrape off the offending material. My buddy told him he would show them it wasn't shit. He stuck his finger right in the middle of the brown mess and held it to his nose. About half the guys immediately got up and left. My buddy got a quizzical look on his face and said it sure smells like shit. He then stuck it to the tip of his tongue and said it damn sure tastes like shit, so I guess it is shit! With that, all but one of our victims left the area post-haste, and most were gagging and one was holding back puke. The one guy whom didn't leave was laughing so hard he was crying. He thanked us and said that was the first time in about 30 years he had seen the trick pulled off; actually since his dad and himself had done it at Oak Ridge in the '40's.