Thursday satire

The bitch I have with Elton John coming to Freedom Hall is the well known fact that he is g-a-y! He was also gay the last time he was in Johnson City. No, I am not anti-gay; I'm anything but anti-gay. Unless you are an American whom is dead, blind, deaf, and have no sense of smell, you know what a stink our religious/political leaders are raising about gays being an "abomination" in the eyes of God. Yet, since it was announced that John would be here in concert, I've not heard one squeak of a desent, either for his appearance 12 years ago or the forthcoming event in September, about an openly gay person performing for the clean, heaven-bound souls of Johnson Citians, God's chosen people. For Christs's sake, Elton Twinkie has been seen wearing huge, pink-framed eye-glasses with windshield wipers on them ... that actually work! How perverted can a person be! Apparently his freakish attire and ungodly mannerisms are fine with the religious-political community. Heaven help us. Welcome back to Johnson City, the new Heart of Old Dixie. Mr. John.

In the late 1990's when it was announced that Marilyn Manson was supposed to perform in concert at the same Freedom Hall Civic Center, all hell (literally) broke loose. Many a pastor, preacher, priest, reverend and saint for miles around bombarded the local rags with letters of protest about the "Devil Worshippers" bankrupting the precious young ears of the community of their God-given Souls. City leaders were inundated with a united effort using everything from reason to pleads to threats against their families if Marilyn Manson was allowed to soil the pristine and holy mountain air. In the end, the City Commission voted to disallow the concert and once more peace and harmony was waged across area. The good people went back to their Sunday pews, pulpits, and hangovers, knowing the only devils left to fight were other religious denominations—mainly Catholic—doing business just up the street.

After the dust settled, JC found that it had been blacklisted by most rock-and-roll musicians, as well as jazz and bluesmen; this delighted the religious bigots. All the city could book was an occasional country act, a washed up opera singer, ice shows, rodeos*, a few religious or gospel music events, and a few "I-used-to-be-somebody" acts like Elton John; wholesome stuff no young folk wanted to see. The city and its businesses have lost hundreds of thousand of dollars in tax revenue and income because the few were allowed to dictate to the many. Young people now travel to Asheville, Knoxville, Charlotte, and Roanoke to see concerts that Johnson City could have presented.

Both these entertainers are showmen, and the people of the area should be able to spend their money to see them if they so choose; if citizens don't want their children exposed to such, keep them at home and deny them access to television, newspapers, radios, and internet. Parents and preachers shouldn't blame their own inadequacies on the rest of us.

Have a Yee-Haw Thursday, my friends!

*Rodeos, circuses, etc. should be banned due to their cruelty to animals.