Rapture for the rest of us

Baked potato; margarine; lit by Father Sun

The Saturday Rapture is getting curiouser and curiouser. The thing that I get most pleasure from is the fact that so many God fearing professed Christians don’t have a clue as to what the Rapture really is and what it means; many have never heard of it outside of a movie title. A lot of the ones whom have heard of it think of it as the end of the world and day of judgement. The Bible is so confusing when speaking of the Rapture, the second coming of Christ, his final reign on earth, Judgement Day, and the fate of the earth. I don’t believe there is a man alive who can read the verses and passages and come to positive conclusions about any of it, except that it will happen.
Being a non-believer, all of it is moot; I ain’t going anywhere. I haven’t had the easiest life imaginable, but it hasn’t been so bad that I want to give it up for a thousands of years old promise; I will fight tooth and nail to stay put even if I feel myself trying to become airborne come Saturday or any other day; I don’t fly!
Folks, I am easily bored with the mundane; I cannot think of anything more mundane than eternal life with no worries and noting to do. Sure, I could probably get by a few years in Heaven before complete insanity set in. Ask yourself, if I go to heaven, what will I be doing; what will I be doing a year from now; what will I be doing a million years from now or for infinity. The depressed people of Johnson City will appear ecstatic compared to the bored minions of heaven.
Why should the streets of heaven be paved with gold; why should the City of Heaven be constructed of gold; what real difference will it make if the roads are made of stone or dirt and the city is built of adobe or timbers? Whatever is there is promised to be perfect. Why does heaven need streets; will the citizens have feet or will they just be spiritual entities? Why need a city at all? Can I have a Mercedes Gull-wing sportster? If any of you decide to make the trip this Saturday, please send me an email and give me some answers; surely they will have smart phones in Paradise.
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Have a Thursday!
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